


Chatanu

by tiny_white_hats



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Adultery, Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, Gen, Judaism, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:53:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_white_hats/pseuds/tiny_white_hats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mary Margaret is not a religious woman, but she needs forgiveness, now more than ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chatanu

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShadedTopaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadedTopaz/gifts).



> Day 2! I thought the interpretation of Mary Margaret as Jewish that you posted in your request letter was really interesting, so that's what today's ficlet is about. I use some terms that are specific to Judaism in this story (including the title), so here's some definitions for anybody who doesn't practice Judaism. I'm not Jewish either, so please, please correct me if these are incorrect.  
>  **Chatanu** (חטאנו) is the Hebrew for "we have sinned," and it is category of Selichot prayer services. Chatanu prayers are traditionally said starting the night before Rosh Hashanah and until the Vidui.  
>  **Vidui** is the name for the confession of sins before God. This references sins against God, as you are supposed to confess sins and ask for forgiveness to the person you wronged, if they are sins against another human.
> 
> Set in the middle of Season 1, when Mary Margaret is having an affair with David.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this unofficial fanwork.

There is not a synagogue in Storybrook, Maine. There is a Catholic parish and a nunnery, but, while Mother Superior and Father Piper are wonderful, lovely people, it just isn’t the same. Mary Margaret wears a Star of David on a silver chain around her neck and she rests on Saturdays and, in a town of over nine hundred people, she is the only one who, come winter, lights a Menorah instead of a Christmas tree.

Mary Margaret is not ashamed of being Jewish, but she does not flaunt it either, does not wear her Star of David like a badge of pride. It is easier to be just like everyone else in this town, because small towns like nothing more than finding people’s differences and imperfections and turning molehills into mountains. It has been a long time since Mary Margaret has had faith strong enough, conviction firm enough, that she felt ready and willing to fight for her religion.

She can’t remember the last time she went to temple and, honestly, Mary Margaret doesn’t feel a burning desire to fall back into religion. Religion is a good thing when it preaches love and acceptance and charity (and it can be a terrible, awful thing when it teaches intolerance and fear), but Mary Margaret is already well versed in all of these things. She is a schoolteacher, a pillar of the community, and she has done just fine on her own. There is no synagogue in Storybrook, and Mary Margaret does not look for one nearby. 

The first time in months that Mary Margaret thinks of going to temple is when she kisses David. It’s wonderful, kissing David, because he’s kind and funny and handsome, because he smiles at her like a man in love, because when he touches her she can feel the shivering in her bones, but that’s just for a moment. Then, kissing David is like the worst kind of nightmare, because he is married to another woman and he is kissing her, and because she is kissing him back, on the corner of Main Street. And a little part of Mary Margaret doesn’t care about his wife or his marriage or her propriety, just wants David, and that is the truly scary thing. He tells her that he will leave his wife for her, and she believes him. She smiles and kisses him again, delighting in him at the expense of another woman’s happiness. She has become a horrible person, she has become who she'd never thought she'd be.

The night Mary Margaret and David kiss, the night in which they become adulterers, she remember commandments written on stone tablets. She recalls half-remembered Hebrew prayers and she thinks of Yom Kippur and atonement, and she thinks that maybe it is time for her to go to temple once more. But she doesn’t go to temple and she doesn’t tell Emma what she’s done, and the guilt slowly eats at her like a wax candle.

When she has been involved with David for just over a month, when she has broken Katherine’s heart and David’s heart and her own, she leaves him. She calls him a liar, and it is the defense of a hypocrite, because she is just as much of a liar as he is, but at least she never lied to him. Mary Margaret lied for him, lied to everybody but him, but she never lied to David. It’s more than that, though, because their relationship is destructive and poisonous and sour, like a weed in a garden, and if they don’t tear it out it will strangle all of the good things she’s made in her life. When you tear up weeds, you have to be sure to destroy the roots, so this is when she prays, for the first time in years.

There are no synagogues in Storybrook, so Mary Margaret prays alone, on her knees on her bedroom floor. She remembers that Jewish tradition teaches that it’s best to pray for absolution alone, that forgiveness is between you and the one you seek forgiveness from and that it is between you and God. Katherine is gone, but Mary Margaret did her best to seek forgiveness the final time they spoke, so Mary Margaret prays the _Vidui_ , prays for forgiveness. It's been a long time since Mary Margaret last prayed; she has many things to be forgiven for. 

She has sinned, but she is ready to atone.

fin.

 

And here are your icons for the day!

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=14jq984)

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2midmu)

**Author's Note:**

> And here are two of your graphics! All caps were from Les Mis Caps (lesmiserablescaps.tumblr.com). I hope you enjoy your icons and your ficlet!
> 
> Happy Purim!


End file.
